


it takes two to whisper quietly

by ampere



Category: Little Mix (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 07:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/758939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ampere/pseuds/ampere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Because Perrie wants to scream it to the world, scream about her and Jade.  But Jade doesn't want anybody to know.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	it takes two to whisper quietly

**Author's Note:**

> This is more or less a coming to terms with her sexuality Jade and pinning angsty Perrie.
> 
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧.

It isn't supposed to happen like this, it's not supposed to be some big secret. Because Perrie wants to climb the highest building and scream it to the world. _So so so_ bad. But her voice leaves her and Jade leans up to look at her, with the moon in her eyes and her lips gone all swollen from how forceful Perrie has claimed them as hers.

And Jade laughs, a little giggle and thrusts her fingers in _just_ deeper. Perrie keens, arches her back and reaches blindly for Jade's other hand, so she can feel just how perfectly their fingers link together.

She has to be quiet, and she has to be careful. But she forgets to tell Jade to stop, and she can feel the burning feeling of a bruise mottling her neck, where Jade bit down a bit too hard and Perrie didn't care enough to remember to stop her.

It's lovely, it's all Perrie thought Jade would be. Sweet and slow and _so so so_ good. She loses herself in Jade's soft skin and her gentle hands and the press of her mouth in the seams and dips of her body. She sighs and closes her eyes and lets Jade take her down, break her and build her right up with her mouth between her legs and her hands keeping her pinned to the world. So Perrie doesn't get lost in how good it feels, how starry her vision goes and the way her skin seems too tight over her body.  


Jade isn't there when she wakes up in the morning, just the static feeling of where her mouth used to be and the hairband she left behind in her haste. Perrie tries to think it's all ok, but there's a dull ache in her chest and the threat of tears in her eyes and Perrie is a _horrible_ liar.

-

“What's this?” Leigh-Anne asks when they're getting their make up done for a telly appearance, points at Perrie's neck.

“What?” Perrie asks, confused until her finger probes the tender skin and she feels a chill running down her spine and her eyes go wide.

“That bite mark, had a run in with a vacuum?” Leigh-Anne teases and Perrie sees her chance to just laugh it off when Jesy barges in with Jade behind her, looking frazzled and caught in the headlights, trying to stop Jesy. But Jesy is a force to be reckon with and it takes more than just a mere human to stop her.

“Look at the badge of honor our little Jade is sporting,” she hollers and all but pushes Jade towards them, points at the blotches of the places Perrie had worked her mouth over.  


Jade gives her a scared look, and Perrie knows, Perrie can feel it, _fight or flight_.

“That's funny,” Leigh-Anne says slowly, looks at Perrie who's holding her breath and trying to keep Jade rooted with her eyes, pleading her, “Perrie has some too.”

-

And it goes quiet and of course Jade leaves, because Jade isn't a fighter, she takes off, interview and Perrie be damned. And Perrie gets mad because Jesy can't keep her mouth shut and Leigh-Anne can't mind her business and Jade is _supposed_ to be straight. And Perrie hates all of that, hates her life when Jade just sprints out of it and there's security guards looking all over for Jade because they need her for Little Mix and because she's gone and broken Perrie.

-

They don't find her, and Jesy bites her lip and tries to apologize but Perrie doesn't let her because she just wants to be mad and alone and forget about how Jade was a one time fluke, gone for who knows how long and never to happen again.

Leigh-Anne gives her a hug on the third day of no Jade (and the story is that it's a super secret family emergency that no one knows how long it will take to solve) and with Perrie shoved in her flat in her dirty clothes and hair a nest because she can't bother with herself in this sadness she's let Jade put her in.

“I'm so sorry, I didn't know,” Jesy catches her by surprise and she sighs and wipes the tears from her eyes. She looks at her phone and sees if Jade's name has a new notification but the last text was from their night together, asking her if she wanted to go out. Perrie should've said no, but the truth is Perrie can't ever say no to Jade.

“Right,” Leigh-Anne says, “Jesy and I are going to fix this, because one, we don't like you being sad and Jade being stupid, and two, we need _all_ of us to be Little Mix.”

-

It's raining when they get to South Shields, Perrie watches the drops hit the windows and race down, and each time Perrie bets on the losing one.

She feels a bit stupid, standing on familiar turf but it's so different now, with the chill of the dreary weather and all that's riding on her words. She rings the doorbell and waits a second before ringing it again.

And then there's Jade, hair tied up and face free of make up and dropping into a frown. And she looks good and Perrie probably looks gross and it feels like a kick to the gut at how untouched Jade is by all of this, when she's the one that ran away.

“I've got your hair band,” Perrie says, sticks her hand out and waits for Jade to take, "can I come in?" she asks when Jade slips it on to her thin wrist and Jade grips at the edge of the door until Perrie can see her knuckles go white, “please?” she tacks on and Jade relaxes just a bit, steps a bit to the side and lets Perrie walk in.

The living room is dim and from the light of the telly Perrie can see the mess of clothes and take out cartons and that makes her feel a bit better.

“What do you want?” Jade asks, it's nothing like her voice, the sweet little talk she has or the breathy little sighs of their first (and last) time together in bed. It's icy and mean.

“I wanted to talk to you, about what happened...” Perrie stars but Jade cuts her off.

“Nothing happened,” Jade says quickly, “nothing happened between us.”

Something rages inside of Perrie, cheeks gone pink and she snaps, “you know damn well it did, it was your fingers in me and your mouth so don't you dare say it didn't, I wasn't a one time thing, you weren't a one time thing, _you said_ , Jade, you said it all out of breath _because of me_!”

Jade goes pale, looks away from Perrie and takes a step back, “no,” she says quietly, “I'm not like that...like you,” she says, “I was confused and you took advantage of that.”

Perrie laughs, wild and her anger bubbles over, “ _took advantage of you_?” she squeaks, “when you got off to me and then left, left because you couldn't admit that maybe you were gay? You look good Jade,” Perrie says bitterly, “look at me,” she says, can feel the lack of sleep and the way her skin misses daylight, “you think I took advantage of you, please, Jade.”

Thing is, Perrie's cried a lot in the past days so she can't shed more tears, but Jade loses it and Perrie forgets her rage and her own sadness and all she can think of it's about getting to Jade and hugging her and making her feel better, even if all Jade's done is make her feel like shit.

“I don't want to like you,” Jade sobs, “but I can't help it and it's so confusing 'cause you're a girl and I...I dunno how to do that.”

“You seem to know what to do back then,” Perrie jokes halfheartedly.

Jade laughs a little hiccup and maybe they'll be ok.

-

They talk a lot, until Leigh-Anne honks the horn and Perrie remembers she's got them waiting on her. So she gets up, from the little patch they cleared from the mess and Jade holds on to her until the last moment, and (almost on a reflex that was always there but she always repressed) kisses Perrie in the corner of her mouth.

-

They've got another interview and Jade sits next to her as Perrie gets her make up done, hands locked together (that's allowed, that's something Jade is comfortable with).

“What's that?” Leigh-Anne squawks, points at Perrie's neck, “what animal did you tussle with?”

Jade goes pink and then promptly red when Jesy joins in and points at the few little love bites Perrie left drifting down her chest.

“She's got some too,” she says gleefully and her and Leigh-Anne high five and cackle.

“Dunno why you two are laughing, I'm the one getting laid almost every night,” Jade mumbles and Perrie stifles a giggle.

It's nice, this thing she's managed to salvage with Jade. She still wants to go and scream it to the world, let everyone know what her and Jade are but maybe the little marks she leaves for others to find are enough for the whole world to hear.


End file.
